Question

I just went off my pill, on feb 15 had my period. On march 20 had unprotected sex with my boyfriend and he came inside. Unfortunally a week later on march 27 had sex with a friend but he did not came inside. On march 31 had some spotting (brownish) and last for about 3 days only when I go to the bathroom and wiped my self. On April 9 made a preg test and came out positive. Please tell me what are the chances this baby is my boyfriends? Just for the record on March I did not get any period only the spotting.Thank you for you fast response. I need help.

Answer

Happy Belated Mother's Day. You are a mother from the moment your baby was conceived. However, this is a difficult situation for you. You don't say when you stopped taking the pill. The first bleed that occurs after stopping the birth control pill is not a period. It is a withdrawal bleed caused by stopping the synthetic hormones contained in the pill. A true menstrual period happens when a woman ovulates, then sheds the lining of the uterus approximately 13 days later because there was no conception or pregnancy in that cycle. From your question, it appears you conceived your baby at the time of the first ovulation after the withdrawal bleed.

The spotting you observed on 3/31 could be an implantation bleed which sometimes occurs when the newly conceived baby arrives at the uterus and nestles into the lining. Implantation bleeding is sometimes mistaken for a light period. This was 11 days after intercourse with your boyfriend so the baby could have been conceived with that act of intercourse.

Spotting can also occur if there is inflammation of the cervix or fluctuating hormone levels. Both sometimes happen in women coming off the pill.

Another possibility is spotting due to a sudden rise in the hormone estrogen just prior to ovulation, the time when the egg is released from the ovary. This is a very fertile time in the woman's cycle. If that was the case,then you may have conceived at the time you had sex with your friend.

Pregnancy can occur even if the man doesn't go inside or come inside (penetration or ejaculation). This is called contact pregnancy. A man produces fluid called pre-ejaculatory fluid when he is sexually aroused. This fluid contains a very large number of healthy viable sperm. If the sperm come in contact with cervical mucus in the vagina or even outside the woman's body, the woman can become pregnant. The mucus forms channels which allow the sperm to make their way to the fallopian tube where they fertilize the egg. This mucus is produced by the cervix, which is the opening to the uterus or womb. It may begin up to six days before ovulation. It extends the time of fertility in the woman so that she can become pregnant even if she doesn't ovulate until 3 to 5 days after intercourse. Women can learn how to observe and interpret this mucus,if they learn a natural family planning method or system. The sperm need this mucus to survive. It allows them to swim up into the cervix where they can wait until the time the woman ovulates.

An ultrasound of the baby in the first trimester (first 3 months) of your pregnancy may help pinpoint when your baby was conceived.

I'm afraid I can't give you the answer you were looking for. However, I would recommend contacting a pro life crisis pregnancy center to help you with the emotional roller coaster of an unplanned pregnancy. There are many questions at a time like this. These centers can refer you for low cost prenatal care, and sometimes provide baby formula and other baby items. They also have trained counselors who can give you the guidance you need to become the best mother you can be and help you learn to live the lifestyle you deserve, in a committed relationship. I would also advise you to contact a Natural Family Planning teacher. You can find certified teachers on this CANFP website. After your baby is born, you can learn a method or system of Natural Family Planning which reveals the beauty of the gift of your Fertility without compromising or even destroying it with chemical contraceptives or sexually transmitted diseases which can be acquired when you are having sexual relations with more than one partner, even when protection is used.

I hope this information helps you in the days ahead. I will keep you in my prayers.

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