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Last Updated:
Jan 3rd, 2010 - 00:09:53
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Question
My wife and I have been married for 8 years and attend daily mass with our 5 children (5 under the age of 6). We have never used any type of birth control and have always been open to as many children as God desired to send us.
All of our children have been born by c-section. We almost lost our 4th child due to complications and at the time my wife's doctor said that, although it was risky, he thought she could still have children but he would have to monitor her very closely.
We just had our 5th child by c-section and the doctor said her previous scar (from our 4th child) had separated and there was an opening a few inches wide in her uterus. He said it was an absolute miracle that nothing terrible happened. He said usually when that happens, the uterus begins to contract and would expel the baby into the abdomen and would be life threatening for both baby and mother.
So now her doctor advised her "very strongly" not to get pregnant again as he believes it could be extremely dangerous and life threatening.
That basically leaves us with natural family planning for the rest of our lives. However - we were practicing NFP after baby #4 (to space the children and give her time to heal) and we wound up having #5.
My question - are alternative forms of birth control allowed in extenuating circumstances like this or do we just have to be extremely diligent with NFP?
Ken
Answer
Dear Ken and spouse,
Let me, as a priest, tell you how proud I am, and we in the Church are, of you, your wife and family. Your dedication and fidelity is awesome! Thank you for saying yes to God’s plan for your in marriage and for your faithfulness to Christ in marriage and bringing many blessings, especially your children, into the world.
Your question is: “are alternative forms of birth control allowed in extenuating circumstances like this or do we just have to be extremely diligent with NFP?” To answer your question directly, artificial birth control is still not permitted even in extenuating circumstances. With great compassion, I offer a part of the Catechism of the Catholic Church 2999: “Legitimate intentions on the part of the spouses do not justify recourse to morally unacceptable means (for example, direct sterilization or contraception).”
It is our relationship to God and one another that makes the difference of understanding marriage and God’s plan for sex within the Sacrament. One way of viewing the situation is that using contraception would perhaps prevent a life from beginning, and thus also perhaps saving your wife from a difficult and even dangerous pregnancy; or another way to see it would be that in the great gift of sexuality that God has given you and your spouse, now more than ever, practicing chastity in times of fertility will be the Christ-centered way of valuing wife, the gift of sex, while at the same time respecting and following God.
In another response posted on this site, Dr. Mary Davenport, an obstetrician/gynecologist, notes that “in cases of a serious medical condition, limiting sexual relations to the post-peak phase of the cycle can reduce unintended pregnancies to 1% or less”. May I suggest that you meet personally with an NFP teacher so that you and your wife may receive the diligent care you need. It may be that the method you are employing may need to change (Billings, symptom-thermal, etc). Since the matter is somewhat urgent, you may even want to call some of the good folks at CANFP for personal guidance (1-877-33-CANFP).
You and your wife are not alone. Throughout the world, there are couples who are going through a similar situation. You mention that you go to Mass daily. This is awesome! God is the Almighty and Most Merciful Father. It is into His hands we place your marriage, family, and wife’s health.
In Jesus and Mary,
Fr. Ed Horning
Fr. Ed Horning is a priest of the Diocese of San Diego and associate pastor of Our Lady of Guadalupe Church in El Centro.
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The information on this page and web site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical diagnosis and treatment by a physician.
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