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Last Updated:
Sep 10th, 2007 - 18:59:21
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Question
Hello, I am 16 years old and was wondering if during sex your partner doesn't ejaculate is there any chance for me to become pregnant? I don't really understand everything about becoming pregnant is their a web site you would recommend to me? Thanks
Answer
Pregnancy can occur from any genital contact on days of fertility, even without penetration or ejaculation. There is a high concentration of sperm in the pre-ejaculatory fluid of the man. If this fluid comes in contact with the cervical mucus at the opening of the vagina, through genital contact, or even hand to genital contact or oral genital contact, pregnancy can result. Therefore, if one’s intention is to avoid a pregnancy, it is important to avoid all types of genital contact. For this reason your question is an important one, and I am glad you asked.
There is no 100% effective method of avoiding pregnancy, except to refrain from intercourse, including genital activity. If the scenario you describe has left you feeling confused, anxious or frightened, it might be a good time to stop and evaluate your intentions. Some questions you might reflect on include:
Am I ready to embrace a pregnancy?
Am I ready to be a parent?
Do I choose him to be the father of my children?
Has this experience left me feeling anxious?
Am I prepared to commit myself to this person for the rest of my life, and to be forever connected to him as the mother of his child?
Did I freely choose this sexual relationship?
Can I know for sure I am not exposing myself to a sexually transmitted disease?
Did I make a DECISION to have sex, or did it just happen?
Do I feel pressured, either by my partner, or my feelings?
Am I confused?
Is this how I dreamed of sex being?
Was it a disappointment?
Have I thought through what I believe about sex, and what it means to me?
Have I considered how my actions now might affect my future relationships?
How will this impact my relationship with my parents…with his parents?
Has this solved problems in my life, or added to them?
Sometimes we are able to sort through our beliefs about sex, and our sexual feelings, in advance of a situation, and establish standards for dating and relationships that can save us from the situation you are now in. Other times, we find ourselves in situations we did not fully think through, only to question afterwards the wisdom of our actions. This time is very good time to reflect on how this experience has impacted you, and make clear choices about your future. Just because one has had sex, does not mean one must continue to have sex. Often an experience such as yours can be a real wake up call to look at our choices, our values, our priorities, our hopes and our dreams, and to choose a path that will take us where we want to be. Speaking with a trusted adult may help you sort through the confusion you may be experiencing, identify your goals, and develop an action plan for achieving them.
For some interesting testimonies of other teens who have grappled with this issue, I recommend going to www.abstinence.net and then click on teen café, and then faces of abstinence.
Congratulations for seeking out the information you needed! May you have the courage to look beyond the next few weeks, to your future!
Sheila St. John, CFCP, is a Certified Fertility Care Practitioner, actively teaching in hospital, parish, and private settings in Monterey and Santa Cruz Counties since the early 1980’s.
She is the Executive Director of the California Association of Natural Family Planning.
© Copyright 2005 by CANFP
The information on this page and web site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical diagnosis and treatment by a physician.
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