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Last Updated:
Jan 3rd, 2010 - 00:09:53
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Question
I am 13 years old and my boyfriend wants to put his penis in my vagina and I am afraid I might get pregnant and I am not ready yet. What are the stuff that can get a girl pregnant?
Answer
Dear Smily,
You are a very wise young woman at 13 to be asking such important questions.
Can you get pregnant if the penis enters the vagina? Yes, you can. The male produces sperm, which is contained in the fluid that passes out of the penis. The woman's body produces mucus, which when present in the vagina, helps the sperm survive in her body for several days, until one penetrates the egg produced by the woman, resulting in a new life---a baby! Any activity which allows the fluid containing sperm to come in contact with the mucus at the opening of the vagina can result in pregnancy. Therefore, it is important, in order to prevent pregnancy, to avoid ALL types of contact of the genitals.
It sounds to me like you have told your friend you do not want to do this, and are mature enough to look ahead at the possible consequences, such as pregnancy. If he continues to ask, after you have told him no, it is a sign he is not as mature as you are. It may also be a sign that he is not capable of caring about you in the deep way you deserve----because true love is not selfish, but wishes the best for another person. It certainly is not in your best interests to be risking not only pregnancy, but sexually transmitted disease, and a broken heart, at the age of 13. Maybe he asked because he had not thought it through. But if he asks again, after you explain how you feel to him, then I think he is proving that he is putting his wants above your best interests, and I don't even know you---but I KNOW you deserve better than that. I hope you think enough of yourself to think so too! You are worth it!
We get so many questions from anxious, nervous, scared young women, worried they may be pregnant. Sex is not supposed to be like that. And it does not have to be. You mentioned not being "ready". I do not know if you meant ready for pregnancy, or ready for sex. The smart girl sees them as a package deal....and does not have one til she is ready for the other. By waiting until you and the young man you marry someday say "I do"----to babies, and a lifetime of unselfish love together caring for the children that may result from your love----you show you are thinking not only of yourself, but the man you care about, and the children you will someday have.
Don't settle for this poor substitute for sex the way it was meant to be. Hold out for the real deal------You ARE worth it!
Keep smiling!
Sheila St. John
Sheila St. John, CFCP, is a Certified Fertility Care Practitioner, actively teaching in hospital, parish, and private settings in Monterey and Santa Cruz Counties since the early 1980’s.
She is the Executive Director of the California Association of Natural Family Planning.
© Copyright 2005 by CANFP
The information on this page and web site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical diagnosis and treatment by a physician.
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